HOLD ON TIGHT

HE SAID, MARIE, MARIE, HOLD ON TIGHT And when we were children, staying at the archduke's, My cousin's, he took me out on a sled, And I was frightened. He said, Marie, Marie, hold on tight. And down we went. In the mountains, there you feel free. I read, much of the night, and go south in the winter. ~ The Waste Land, "The Burial of The Dead", Eliot Tuesday, January 01, 2008 the reality i don't know what to do this new year. i woke up this morning to the sound of my aunt crying to me over the phone, and was incapable of doing anything for the rest of the day. consequently, i have done nothing. im trying to make a big speech tonight to him, but i have nothing more to say. i really have nothing more to say. i resent my own relationship problems, especially when people talk to be about their children who are mentally disabled, or people call me to cry about husbands having affairs. i want to go back to ithaca, because it is peaceful there, and i have a sense of direction, and am far from the crowd. im tired of sleeping on the living room couch and feeling like a visitor in my own home. a lot of things sadden me about singapore. i'm worried about my sister, who told me that she was so scared about what happened when i went to ithaca. i'm worried about what happens when my grandfather gets older. i can see my mother growing old, and i know i will have to take care of her. and i can see how my parents are in denial in their failure to realise their lifestyle cannot be carried into their age. holidays are supposed to be about going out with friends and doing shit, but this holiday has been spent in painful realisation. you are right, and i am not strong enough to look after you. i'll always be here if you want to talk. but i don't want to pretend we're in a place that we're not in. i don't want you to miss me. posted by dawn # 10:28 PM Comments: Post a Comment << Home		[publishing] Publishers Weekly . Dystel & Goderich . New York Center for Independent Publishing . Association of American University Presses . Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators [people] clarisse . nurul . aunty zarina (ummi's bakery) . jeremy . pak . cyril . softblow . karen & kenny (booksactually) . eric . joel . [other loves] digitaljournalist . ballet dictionary . poetshouse . urbanwordnyc [me] dawn, singapore, new york city, ithaca. [yesterday] cups dog days running towards strong arms thought candle on the water first day home. i'm tired, emotionally exhausted, ... betrayals hunger pangs papers and winter [archives] January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009

HE SAID, MARIE, MARIE, HOLD ON TIGHT

And when we were children, staying at the archduke's,
My cousin's, he took me out on a sled,
And I was frightened. He said, Marie,
Marie, hold on tight. And down we went.
In the mountains, there you feel free.
I read, much of the night, and go south in the winter.

~ The Waste Land, "The Burial of The Dead", Eliot

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

the reality

i don't know what to do this new year. i woke up this morning to the sound of my aunt crying to me over the phone, and was incapable of doing anything for the rest of the day. consequently, i have done nothing. im trying to make a big speech tonight to him, but i have nothing more to say. i really have nothing more to say. i resent my own relationship problems, especially when people talk to be about their children who are mentally disabled, or people call me to cry about husbands having affairs. i want to go back to ithaca, because it is peaceful there, and i have a sense of direction, and am far from the crowd. im tired of sleeping on the living room couch and feeling like a visitor in my own home. a lot of things sadden me about singapore. i'm worried about my sister, who told me that she was so scared about what happened when i went to ithaca. i'm worried about what happens when my grandfather gets older. i can see my mother growing old, and i know i will have to take care of her. and i can see how my parents are in denial in their failure to realise their lifestyle cannot be carried into their age. holidays are supposed to be about going out with friends and doing shit, but this holiday has been spent in painful realisation. you are right, and i am not strong enough to look after you. i'll always be here if you want to talk. but i don't want to pretend we're in a place that we're not in. i don't want you to miss me.

posted by dawn # 10:28 PM

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