HOLD ON TIGHT

HE SAID, MARIE, MARIE, HOLD ON TIGHT And when we were children, staying at the archduke's, My cousin's, he took me out on a sled, And I was frightened. He said, Marie, Marie, hold on tight. And down we went. In the mountains, there you feel free. I read, much of the night, and go south in the winter. ~ The Waste Land, "The Burial of The Dead", Eliot Friday, May 02, 2008 that funny old hurt today i got an unexpected phonecall. one of those late phonecalls that are months overdue. the expected sorries, the kind of sorry that doesn't do anything, but makes that funny old hurt reappear. there were a lot of silent moments in the conversation. imagine a pinter play, imagine racine's phaedra attempting to speak, and knowing the moment she speaks is the moment that speech cannot conjure presence, and the language she speaks is not the reality she lives in, speech that creates the split in the desiring, longing subject. and he asked, how are you? and then i knew what he wanted to ask, but ultimately didn't ask. i said some, didn't say some. i'm not telling the other person who is starting to inhabit my life about that call, not that i don't have anything to hide, but simply that i want to protect them. and i can deal with it myself, i'm not going to go crying into someone's arms (not that he is vaguely anywhere near, because it would be a 6 hour drive across the country) i am a big girl now. (i did tell my daddy though, he said, that's ok, it's good to just catch up, and be friends, so how is he? he's good, i said, and left it at that.) learning to grow up is learning to be silent, realising that some things don't need to be said ultimately. posted by dawn # 8:21 PM Comments: Post a Comment << Home		[publishing] Publishers Weekly . Dystel & Goderich . New York Center for Independent Publishing . Association of American University Presses . Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators [people] clarisse . nurul . aunty zarina (ummi's bakery) . jeremy . pak . cyril . softblow . karen & kenny (booksactually) . eric . joel . [other loves] digitaljournalist . ballet dictionary . poetshouse . urbanwordnyc [me] dawn, singapore, new york city, ithaca. [yesterday] the world is melting end of term blues oberon eve was smarter than adam i'm so blue today. new york city gets you down lik... back children's book week growth dividends at least a little bit a big room [archives] January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009

HE SAID, MARIE, MARIE, HOLD ON TIGHT

And when we were children, staying at the archduke's,
My cousin's, he took me out on a sled,
And I was frightened. He said, Marie,
Marie, hold on tight. And down we went.
In the mountains, there you feel free.
I read, much of the night, and go south in the winter.

~ The Waste Land, "The Burial of The Dead", Eliot

Friday, May 02, 2008

that funny old hurt

today i got an unexpected phonecall. one of those late phonecalls that are months overdue. the expected sorries, the kind of sorry that doesn't do anything, but makes that funny old hurt reappear. there were a lot of silent moments in the conversation. imagine a pinter play, imagine racine's phaedra attempting to speak, and knowing the moment she speaks is the moment that speech cannot conjure presence, and the language she speaks is not the reality she lives in, speech that creates the split in the desiring, longing subject. and he asked, how are you? and then i knew what he wanted to ask, but ultimately didn't ask. i said some, didn't say some. i'm not telling the other person who is starting to inhabit my life about that call, not that i don't have anything to hide, but simply that i want to protect them. and i can deal with it myself, i'm not going to go crying into someone's arms (not that he is vaguely anywhere near, because it would be a 6 hour drive across the country) i am a big girl now. (i did tell my daddy though, he said, that's ok, it's good to just catch up, and be friends, so how is he? he's good, i said, and left it at that.) learning to grow up is learning to be silent, realising that some things don't need to be said ultimately.

posted by dawn # 8:21 PM

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