HE SAID, MARIE, MARIE, HOLD ON TIGHT

And when we were children, staying at the archduke's,
My cousin's, he took me out on a sled,
And I was frightened. He said, Marie,
Marie, hold on tight. And down we went.
In the mountains, there you feel free.
I read, much of the night, and go south in the winter.

~ The Waste Land, "The Burial of The Dead", Eliot

Sunday, December 21, 2008
pre-departure
i read jonathan safran foer's Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close in one sitting. it was very good, but after just coming out of don dilillo's Falling Man, and Synecdoche, New York--all which arguably, restage september 11, and are totally devastating and heartbreaking in their different ways, i don't think i could deal with another novel like this anytime soon.

the new yorker published this beautiful review of the letters of elizabeth bishop and robert lowell, and in light of eric's musing, "i don't know how to answer your question: if i deliberately hurt myself to be able to write," and later, "is it ethical to write something that you know will hurt someone else?" i thought i would include what bishop says sagely, when lowell proposes to use letters a poetic material:

One can use one’s life as material—one does, anyway—but these letters—aren’t you violating a trust? IF you were given permission—IF you hadn’t changed them . . . etc. But art just isn’t worth that much. I keep remembering Hopkins’ marvelous letter to Bridges about the idea of a “gentleman” being the highest thing ever conceived—higher than a “Christian” even, certainly than a poet. It is not being “gentle” to use personal, tragic, anguished letters that way—it’s cruel.

The article goes on:
In a letter about the misuse of letters, Bishop asks Lowell to live up to a moral standard guaranteed by an aesthetic one: be a gentleman, like Gerard Manley Hopkins. Lowell’s and Bishop’s letters were themselves a long, collaborative work of art, as rich in their own way and by their own standard as the poems. But Bishop seems more concerned that Lowell had changed Hardwick’s letters than that he had included them. These are the objections of an author, and one who exercised an enormous level of control over her material. That Hardwick was a fellow-writer only deepened the transgression. The idea that someone would change a letter, as Lowell did in transforming Hardwick’s into poems: this was a supreme violation not only of life but of art, the art of the letter.

anyway, i am glad to be leaving my house tomorrow. driving up to new jersey, then harlem and the bronx, then back to jersey, then jfk on tues morning, in transit in tokyo, and then singapore(!), and then two weeks in brooklyn. living alone, i tend to traumatise myself with idle reading (mostly depressive stuff), disturbing justin on the phone to shake off post-book trauma, postponing the supposed epic cookie bake, and packing ugh, that i will do tonight! after cleaning my bathroom and kitchen, and, de-snowing my car to (ugh), returning all these possibly 40-50 books that have accumulated between me and my room mate. the occasionally unfortunate condition that defines my life is this: one never really leaves until one really has to.

[publishing] Publishers Weekly . Dystel & Goderich . New York Center for Independent Publishing . Association of American University Presses . Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators

[people] clarisse . nurul . aunty zarina (ummi's bakery) . jeremy . pak . cyril . softblow . karen & kenny (booksactually) . eric . joel .

[other loves] digitaljournalist . ballet dictionary . poetshouse . urbanwordnyc

[me] dawn, singapore, new york city, ithaca.

[yesterday] hello, america
reeling from the snow
bill's mechanics
history
doctors and nurses
things to do when you have lost your voice
sick to the core
wedding glassware
am lit
break my hea-a-a-a-a-ar-t, break my heart

[archives] January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009

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