HE SAID, MARIE, MARIE, HOLD ON TIGHT
~ The Waste Land, "The Burial of The Dead", Eliot
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
and the same black line that was drawn on you, was drawn on me/ has drawn me in, sixth avenue heartache.
i'm in the library, reading Kagan's The limits of morality. last night i read Mitchell's Colonising Egypt: An Appearance of Order my education in new york has been thoroughly destabilising, in thought, morality. but in 6 months, i have learnt the value of doubt. i like where i study. it breaks you down, the same way you would be put in a room without light, and made to confess your secrets. and as each secret was divulged, she realised everything that she had come to know which intrinsic to her as the muscle fibres that constituted the heart, was merely a form of bribery. as the secrets unravelled, like nerves, she felt her body falling apart. each piece of knowledge you know must be spat out, with blood, to deliver yourself from the place where they locked you. and the moment you divulge these secrets, you will be free, but you will also have lost your clothes, your hair, everything that reeked of you, everything that was of you.
and maybe they will release you, and finally you will cherish that white, impossible light, you took for granted. and maybe in complete absence, you will be finally be in a state absent of expectations, and life will assume a dimension of intensity you never known before. |
[publishing] Publishers Weekly . Dystel & Goderich . New York Center for Independent Publishing . Association of American University Presses . Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators [people] clarisse . nurul . aunty zarina (ummi's bakery) . jeremy . pak . cyril . softblow . karen & kenny (booksactually) . eric . joel . [other loves] digitaljournalist . ballet dictionary . poetshouse . urbanwordnyc [me] dawn, singapore, new york city, ithaca. [yesterday]
a roomful of white
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